14 Fatal Online Dating Errors
Mistakes that women make
By David Wygant Special to Yahoo!
Recently I was coaching a woman on how to write her profile for Yahoo! Personals. Before we wrote the profile, I asked her to send me her four best pictures.
I asked her to do this because men are as visual as Scooby Doo on steroids. The first thing they do when they see your profile online is NOT read about your trip to Italy last summer. They want to see how hot you are. Keep in mind that every man has different taste in women. What I find attractive, my friend may not find attractive at all.
I explained this to my client, and I asked her to send me her four best
photos -- pictures that represent who she is in her life. What she sent
me is mistake #1 of the biggest mistakes women make online.
Here are the 14 biggest online dating mistakes women make:
Make sure paragraphs are short so men can digest that information in short bursts
Mistakes that men make
By David Wygant Special to Yahoo!
Some men have absolutely NO sense of etiquette when they're trying to contact women online. During all my years of coaching, women have told me some amazing things men have written to them in emails.
Many men feel they
can just say anything in an email when they are trying to get a woman
to go out with them. If they said those same things to a woman in a bar
or on the street, they might get arrested, or at least slapped. But
when they're hiding behind the secrecy of their computer, too many men
get abrasive and crude.
list of 10 things NEVER to do when you're online trying to get a woman
to go out with you. Some of these are obvious; some you'll swear I'm
making up! But all of them are things men actually do.
Top 10 email turnoffs for women
1. Don't ask her how much she weighs
or what her measurements are. You might as well just tell her you only
want to sleep with her and you have no interest in getting to know her,
because that's what she's going to think if you ask her this.
2. Don't email her seven times asking her why she hasn't responded to your first email. Women get far more email than men do, so you need to be patient. Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she's going to respond to you.
3. Don't ask her how many other dates
she's been on from Yahoo! Personals. How many other dates someone has
been on is not important. What is important is finding out whether the
two of you click when you hang out.
4. Don't send her a nasty email
if she hasn't responded to you after several emails. It's her
prerogative whether or not she desires to be in contact with you. If
she doesn't want to meet you, why get angry and nasty? There are plenty
of other women out there who you can contact.
5. Don't ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don't send her dirty
pictures of you. Women are all about connecting with their minds. Just
because you're looking for a quick fling, that doesn't mean she's going
6. If she gives you her phone number,
don't wait a week to call her. By extension, if you do wait a week to
call her and she doesn't call you back, don't be shocked. Women have
many options online. If she gives you her phone number, I suggest
calling her that day. It keeps the momentum going.
7. When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to "Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?" Ask her if she'd like to exchange more pictures, which means you
send some and she sends some. Several women have complained to me that
men ask them to send pictures of themselves in bikinis or other such
things, so that men can see their body. Men, don't do this!
8. Don't get offended if she doesn't want to talk
to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email
first to get to know you. You need to be flexible and open to her
suggestions. Sometimes you may need to email back and forth for a week,
and sometimes she'll give you her phone number right away. Either way,
don't be rude.
9. Do not email-stalk her. Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who
will email them several times a day for three weeks, until they are
forced to block emails from those men. Men, she got your email the very
first time. She just may have chosen not to open it. By sending emails
several times a day, not only are you turning her off, you're freaking
her out! You've become an online stalker. That's a guarantee she'll
never go out with you.
7 Reasons Why She Didn't Write Back
Sure-fire ways to boost the number of email responses in your inbox
are the most common reasons why you didn't hear from her, and ways to
work around them so you can boost the number of email responses in your
1. She's getting a lot of attention online.
A key thing to remember is that women's inboxes tend to get crowded
with potential suitors. Make sure that you stand out from the
competition by commenting about something specific she said in her
profile, such as, "You mentioned you really like movies. What are some
of your favorites?" Don't send her the same email you sent to 20 other
women. It doesn't make her feel special.
2. You contacted her just because she looks hot.
3. You posted the wrong photo.
Guys, you need to start paying more attention to the photos you
are choosing for your profiles. Don't even think about posting a photo
until you show it to a few women (a coworker, sister or friend you
trust) and get their reactions. What you think is a fine-looking
picture may look like a menacing mug shot to us. Also, a pet peeve for
women is a photo where you've got your arm around some other woman who
was obviously cut out of the picture. Last, but not least, choose
pictures where you can see your face clearly.
4. She may think your email was too forward.
Make sure you are not asking her for a lot of personal
information the first time you contact her. You don't want to make her
shy away from you even though you are just trying to get to know her.
Avoid asking things like her place of work, specifics about where she
lives or details about her children. Also, don't suggest meeting in
person in the first email.
5. You focus on past breakups in your profile.
6. You aren't her type.
7. She doesn't get what a catch you are! You want someone who understands all the things you have to offer and is excited to respond to you. Instead of focusing on all the women who aren't contacting you back, pay attention to the thousands of women with profiles online who are just waiting to hear from you!